Infatuation Turning Into Disease So I woke up in a super good mood this morning. I talked to Caitlan and Jessie last night and realized that I missed them so much. Well now I'm in a good mood I've decided that I'm not in this drama and don't need to be so this is me removing myself from the drama *removes self* DONE! Okay now I just need to write a four page long essay and read. Yay. Instead of doing either right now I think I"m going to read a different book that I actually like. Oh shit I need to start studying too. Oh well. I'll stress about that on Tuesday. Today I want to be stress free and I want to have a good day. We all need those once in a while.
Current Mood: happy Current Music:All Over You- The Spill Canvas
Ew. It's official. I used to be the biggest wanna be loser ever. God. I just read through the old part of my inbox on myspace. I was like "Yeah I cut. I want to cut. Liz and Lysandra please help me because I cut this morning and my parents are yelling at me!!!!!!!" Except I typed much worse and my spelling was even worse than it is now. The me now would hate the old me. Or am I the same. Okay so I should stop thinking now.
Kay so now I feel like a bad person I brokedown last night. Things piled up to high So I cried alot. But I'm okay now. It's strange how I hold in stuff for so long then randomly break down and cry. Oh and Lysandra I'm not saying you're a bad friend. Hell I love you to death. I just worry and I wonder things sometimes. Like if I'm good enough for you. (Lysandra read all my LJ entries if you were wondering which is perfectly understandable) But anyways. Lysandra we need to talk about alot of stuff. I love you to death. And everyone else to death. Oh yes I may not be on for the next few days. I'm going out of town.
Why can't some people live forever? My grandpa is morethanlikely going to die within the next few weeks. From blood posining. It kills me alot. I love him. I stayed with him and my grandpa when my parents were busy doing drugs. He used to read me stories. He used to give me necklaces. He used to by me lots of ice cream. He's done so much for me. I may complain about him but really it's killing me. I brokedown and cried when I found out. And the worst part was that he was saying it as if it were no big deal! I can't stand it. I didn't even give a damn that Lysandra and Kristina were over, I started crying (I'm not saying I didn't care you were over I was saying that I started crying even though you were over. I love you guys) Do you think it's better knowing someone is going to die soon before they die or just finding out they're dead. I can't loose my grandparents yet! My other grandpa almost died over the summer. I hate this! I know that everyone dies but I don't want them to! I wish that everyone I know could die after me so I don't have to see them die(I'm not saying I'm going to commit suicide).I'm going to miss him so fucking much.
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danidanidani112's journal
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